doinitup

So far so good. I meant to wake up at 5:30am to come in for my 7am shift -wanted to cook and stuff have some chicken for lunch, but i guess im gonna have chicken for supper because i work up at 6:30am. No bigs - didnt let it get me off track. Had my egg whites for my protein - and had oatmeal with milk and an orange when i got to work. Brought 4 bottles of water and downed one so far. Still gonna do everything i had planned and cant wait.

So after a fight that occured the night before last, me and my b/f have been well not really speaking much. Yesterday i emailed him and told him good luck with his paper and despite how im feeling i didnt want to make his weekend any worse than it is going to be (HUGE paper  due monday) and to call me if there was anything i could do to help. He called me at 5pm, but my phone was in the car. I called him at 10pm, he told me he’d call me back later on. By 11pm i wanted to get some sleep so i called him to tell him i was going to sleep. He gave me a sweet goodnight i said bye and that’s been pretty much it.  This is huge for me. Usually ill ring off his phone like “lets talk about this, this is upsetting me, blah blah blah, but i figure if he really wants this, and if he really wants to make it work, then it’s on him this time. Either way, i’m fine. I love him to death but it is what it is. Im strong.  So yeah, not dropping evrything for him and not revolving around him is part of my reinvention. I think it’s the hardess part. But im good to go. Its jsut like not stuffing anythig you want in your face, gonna be hard at first, but gets easier with practice. If I told him specifically that i was doing this he would say that im ‘making myself not care’ and how its going to be ‘detrimental to our reltionship’. But i definately think its about damn time i made him work for it. I’m tired of being the one who’s always running back whether im wrong or right, and im tired of feeling ‘not important enough’ for him to do the same. Dont get me wrong tis not that he has never taken the blame or called me after a fight, but usually, its definately me..

So after work i am going to clean my car/ get some gas and some fruits/veggies and go for my walk/run/intermittent riverside exercises. Im kinda pumped! I’m going to live the life i’ve always wanted to live. Be that hot girl in the magazine that cooks nice meals and runs on the trails and does her little workouts and smiles at rnadom people cause she’s just a happy person in general. Well i already smile at random people, whats funny is that often they dont know how to act. Im in a city and its very unusual for anyone you dont know to say hi to you, so its funny to see reactions…it depends where you are too…i laugh, lol.

Hope everyone has a good day. Good luck with the struggle ya’ll…let’s grind it out!

So yeah im in a rut.

I avnt been on point really with eating/exercising…even financially and in general. Things with the boyfriend are…meh. I mean my life doesnt depend on him but i loe him to death. Just kinda got in a fight yesterday and yeah… adding to my rut. But its all good.

Im working on a financial plan that im starting tomorow. Planning my eating for a week with what is currently in my kitchen (no sushi - too expense :(  )  and im gonna get out and do a bunch of things tomorow - i always find gettng stuff done makes me feel better.

So i work from 7am-3pm - then straight to the car wash (i jsut emptied the junk out of my car and had to do like 4 trips - although two of them were boxes of bottles of water. Then im going to stop at the farmer’s market and grab a few fruits and veggies since i am short in those. then im going to come home, walk to my ex’s appartment (which is a loooooooooooong way) feed the cats and hit Riverside for a nice jog/intermittent workout (tricep dips on the benches/lunges up the hills/push ups/sit ups) and walk back home - or jog whatever feels right. Im going to come home and wax, and im going to start using this moisturizing lotion with a bit of tanner in it to build up a tan - i dont want cancer. Oh note to self- waer ssunscreen.

In terms of the Teams on here, I am currently a HotRod/MVP - but i dont think ill be able to keep up with it. theres jsut so many people and som much forum posting (which is great!!!!) but i wont be able to keep  up and contribute as much as i should, and thats not air to other members who give it their all.  I do want to start a small group of my own - like 3-5 people, just a few people to comiserate with, share successses, share tips, and get to know well so that we can really be there for each other. And wecan have a forum too hey.

Anwyays, time to bust out the spread sheet and do this money/meal planning crap! I hate money.. yeah hate to love it..

Night

Meh - stupid manager - this is all his fault.

So, at work, my manager decides we’re going to drink wine yesterday… we went thorugh a bottle and a half. Then instead of eating my veggies/dip and yogurt/starwberries/granola - i had (well i guess this isnt so bad) - quite a few Ritz crackers- quite a bit of cheese and some veggies and this homemade dip. So i saved my food for today so thats a bonus.  Then these guests that are from my hometown MONTREAL, were talking me up and ended up bringing me a beer so i politely stayed a little late after my shift and my co-workers and i had a beer with them - and then my co-worker brings out the rum and we have a shot of that (*sigh*)… o well… it coulda been worse… oh wait it was lol… then i got home and had 2 leftover pieces of pizza that my freeaking boyfriend left at my house - i did manage to stay away from the Cinna Stix…..

Doing better today already… seee if it can stick this time…

Oh and i have this job prospect!  Yay! Interview on tuesday!!

Hows evreyone doing today?

So Day 3 week 4 and my manager is feeding me white wine at work today,…. im on my second glasss…. k after this im done!!! Thank god they are little glasses..

Breakfast - multigrain cereal/milk/strawberries/egg white

Snack - muffin

Lunch - tuna roll (6pieces)/miso/little salad

Snack - i forget.. seomthing good..

Supper - tuna roll/WW chocolate carmel bar

Snack - strawbrries and chocolate pudding

Then i went home with my boyfriend anf had 2 slices of pizza, two pieces of cheesy bread and 3 pieces of Cinna stix from dominoes pizza… dhame on me.. i was so sad… then i weighed in this morning - expecting to be higher than 135and i was 134!! So i decided not to eat the leftovers this morning

Checking your food like more.. like you know into smaller pieces, makes it easier for your body to deal with and if it makes it burn more calories or lose weight faster??? LoL I’ll take anythin!! It all helps!!   Im gon look it up

My Nanny isnt doing so well (grandmother). Shes in a semi-coma (i dont really know what that is). Shes 5 hours today so im probly going to go seee her after my 3-11pm shift abd then come back the next day for 3pm for my next shift. Not binging during tough times is hard as it is… add the million hours of being awake… its gonna be a crappy 48 hours. Anwayys, had to blog, had to do seomthing - theres pizza in front of me :S

Hope evryone is having a good day.

Stay blessed

I cried. Omg i cried. I can imagine the effect it had on people who are or have been at the weight that some of the contestants were at.. I was never more than35lbs overweight at any point in my life, so for people who have struggled significantly with hteir weight throughout their lives, it msut have been very emotional. I was at work, balling. People would come in, and i was like “Biggest Loser finals..its amazing what they’ev accomplished” and then they laughed at me. lol

Anwyays, whats her name, Ally?.. looked AMAZING! OMG shes ripped!! Like omg!! She was kinda cocky huh? Totally knew she was gonna win..lol i loved it!!

Anyways, a very emotional show at a pretty vital point of my attempt to get sexy. I was so glad i got to watch it.

I wonder how their days are at the ranch though. Liek how long do they work out and what do they do with the restt of their time? How much sleep do they get? What is their diet like? I love love to see what their workout sessions are like.

Anwyays, grats to Ally and to all of us who have decided to go on this journey to make a better us!

Ok so yesterday went well, i think it was easy cause i slpet in so late tho!! LoL. I didnt get any exercise in cause i was feeling extremely ill, hence really tired and jsut wanted to sleep. Sill not feeling great, but ill bring my weights to work and try and get a run in afterwyards.

SO yesterday - wholewheat pasta/pasta sauce/cheese; multigrain cheerios; tilapia fillet/carrots/weight wwatchers chocolate caramel bar (so freaking good!!); home made blueberry muffin; lettuce/cuccumber/tomato/little bit of ceasar dressing

What sucked was that i really coulnt really and truly taste anything - so i used my imagination and it was all fabulous!! LoL

Didnt have much access top the computer during my trip I did alright with the eating.  not great, but it could have been much much worse. Im still holding 135. I was under that when i left for Quebec, but im still happy with holding my last ‘tracked’ weight.  I went running with my father. My 50 year old father. He’s insane. Absolutely insane. The man runs 5 k in 25minutes..or maybe i think 23. So we go running. Im under the impression that we are leaving my aunt’s running to whereever and comming back to my aunts. But all of a sudden, we are in like the country. Im talkin like, runnin by barns and fields. Im like wtf? Train track is comming up he says ‘we’re almost half way’. Im expecting to turn around, he keeps going! He’s insane. Let me tell you the man took me to another TOWN…. to his cousins house. Soemthing like 7k. I was goign to kill him. I kept telling him i had to stop… my father is french military. He wouldnt let me. If i had known i wasnt going to have to turn around to run all the way back it wouldnt have been so bad!! But anwyays, it was so brutal. So now i have to train like crazy so next time i go home i can demolish him!!! LoL. He rubbed it in so bad!! It was a great weekend tho!!

Going to start posting HARD again tomorow with my Accountability posts again… gonna start at Day1 - Week 4, keeping in mind that Week 3 was a write off.

How’s evryone doing?